Maintaining healthy communication during divorce is highly recommended. It increases the chances of a smooth process, and when children are involved, it can be more manageable to make co-parenting decisions. Nonetheless, the chances of conflicts can be high.
For this reason, soon-to-be ex-spouses need to have a few tips to guide their communication. Here are three of them:
Use the BIFF method
The BIFF (Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm) method is a communication strategy that offers significant benefits during divorce. With this technique, your conversations should be short (ideally two to five sentences), strictly focus on facts, maintain a courteous tone and set clear boundaries.
For example, when asking your spouse to send money for a shared expense, such as a child-related expense, you can say,
“Hello [Spouse’s name],
[Child’s name] has a dental appointment on [Date] for [Procedure] costing $300. I am requesting your 50% share of $150 by [Date] via [Payment method]. I have attached the invoice. Thank you.”
This message is short, focuses on the necessary information, provides a deadline and has a friendly tone.
The BIFF method also works when responding to an angry message from your spouse. It can de-escalate the conflict and protect you from responding in a way that could negatively affect your interests.
Set boundaries
You and your spouse should set boundaries concerning communication. Agree on the topics to discuss and what to avoid, choose a communication method and pick a time when you can contact each other.
Take time before you respond
Unless it’s an emergency, it can help to always take time before responding. Let your spouse know you have received their message and will respond later. This allows you to send thoughtful responses.
These three tips can help you have a smoother divorce. Get more information about other steps to take to help you transition into your new life without difficulties.
