When parents decide to dissolve their marriage, the next step is usually talking to their child. This ensures the child understands what’s happening and can start preparing for their new life. But when is the right time to break the news?
Here is what to know:
Certainty is crucial
Only tell your child you are getting a divorce when you are sure. Confirm that you have exhausted all solutions for saving the marriage and have concluded that divorce is the best way forward. Informing your child about the divorce and then failing to go through with it can create anxiety, uncertainty and a sense of instability.
Sooner rather than later
Talk to your child sooner rather than later once you are sure you are getting a divorce. Do not wait until one of you moves out or when you start operating from different parts of the house. Kids can quickly sense when something is wrong.
Waiting too long can also increase the likelihood that your child will hear the news from a third party. Your loved ones, whom you may have informed about the divorce, may think your child knows about it and start related conversations around your child. This can foster distrust and confusion.
You want your child to hear about the divorce from their parents. This allows you to maintain a sense of control, security and trust.
Avoid the discussion during special occasions
Even though there is no perfect time for telling a child about divorce, it helps to avoid the discussion around birthdays, holidays or major occasions. You may have heard of adults who dislike their birthdays, Thanksgiving, Easter or Christmas because they trigger past emotions.
It’s important to carefully approach talks about your divorce with your child. You also need to learn more about how you can protect their interests.
